de Sorin-Mihai Grad / ©2010 Herg Benet Publishers

Surrogate of Indifference

[translation by Nigel Walker & Alexandra Sârbu of Surogat de indiferenţă]

I’m painting some eyes on an evening dawn
and I imagine that I dream
in blue
no pain tempts me
other than the old ones that everybody forgot in me
or whatever name may have the last mistake
in which I believed

the eyes adore me surprised
by the cruel indifference they feel at their offspring
that I bear
by inertia
will it be the only solution?
even so, it disgusts me and I paint them in the blood of the ashes
of an expired dusk
and in another three useless colours
which don’t recall anything
so as to get away from their obsessive look

too fed up with my unsympathetic goals
who think they are misunderstood
they feel me
they cry and wipe themselves
like mine occasionally do
and they return to their sinister passion
why me?

published in EgoPHobia #29-30

translated within the cooperation project EgoPHobiaMTTLC; many thanks to Nigel Walker & Alexandra Sârbu for the translation, to Silvia Bratu for managing the project and to Prof. Lidia Vianu for making it possible

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